Sometimes you just sit there, wondering about life and everything, trying to remember something that already is forgotten. A scent. A memory. How someone's arms were wrapped around your body. The heart warming feeling when someone is really nice to you. Or when you see other people smile, being happy.
You just sit there and try to remember everything good about life, without even realizing it. You are trying to make yourself happy, usually. But, then, after a while you start to realize that you can't remember and everything just feels empty and weird. You just want to cry and sleep, but at the same time you want to scream.
It's a weird feeling. But, I was thinking... don't we all feel that sometimes? But we can get better. And that's a little promise. You can remember the times before. All the times you were in this situation and still here you are again, alive, breathing and... alive. You are alive. That is something amazing. Something important. It can feel like you are suffocating, but you are alive! What an amazing thing to realize. Even though you would prefer to be dead you are still breathing and doing something. Life won't give up so fast. And, oh, bloody hell, that is wonderful!
You are not alone. People always feel like this. It starts like a little sadness and then it takes over your mind and plays you tricks. But, trust me when I say that you are perfect. You are good enough. Good enough for anyone. You don't have to cry yourself to sleep because of anything. You are perfect, and we all feel like this once in a while. But, yes, do cry if it helps.
I just want you you know that whatever happens you are not alone. You are good enough. Even if you have scars all over your body.
Make your day a little bit better small things; listening to music you don't understand a word of, reading your favourite book, a cup of tea of coffee, reminding yourself that you are a genius! That you are unique. Remind yourself that whatever happens in your life you are, and will always be, the most important person in your whole life. Nobody's love is going to be as strong as the love for yourself. Go to a mirror and look into your own eyes. Think about something that makes you happy. Watch while your pupils get bigger. Then close your eyes. Smile. And then open them again. Then let the smile fade away. And then do whatever makes you happy. Play video games, call a friend, read a book, scroll through tumblr... contact me if you want to. Just do something that makes you happy!
Blessed be!
-- Selma.
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