Summer

"Let your tears fall down like the rain and your smile come like the rainbow after it." 

Summer! 
The sun is finally here! At least in my imagination. Let me dream! No, but seriously though. It was actually here today, together with the rain. Can't complain that much, though. It's the Swedish summer I guess!
What am I discussing today? Motivation, maybe. I don't know. I just wanted to post an update! One of my... well, one of the people I know I suppose I should call her, she's not exactly my friend... but, anyway, a publishing house bought the rights to her book and she's getting published next spring! My mind was blown! And then I got really pumped and printed out two chapters of my own book and started to proof read. Which I haven't had so much time to do lately. Especially since I have to do things during the day too.
   I was so motivated! I should have printed out two more chapters or something. I'm sure I would have read them all! I was smiling, I was happy and motivated. I've done some amazing things. This book... wow, I kinda blew my own mind away today. I just looked at it and said "Wow, this is good"! But I do also know that that's not how the whole book is. Because, character development, guys. If my characters were this awesome at the beginning there would be absolutely no point with this book. Except the smiles. Lord, did I smile!

Writing is such an amazing thing. It makes me smile. It makes me grow. Both as a person and an author. I'm still learning. And I want to continue to learn. I want to be able to write books that I can hold. Books I one day will be able to show my future children when the time comes. And on that day, in the future, I will read the book again and just... sigh. Because one day I will know more than I do today. One day in the future I'll be able to write exactly how I want to. I look forward to those days. I will wait, but until then I will also live. I will learn and write. I shall live my life and learn. That itself is a motivation.
   Another one is a very special friend to me. She's been there since my first, crappy book. She has been by my side, complimented my work when I couldn't find anything good with it. She's been the one telling me that she looks forward until the day she can hold my book in her hands and read it. She's told me that I've made her smile. And, after all that's what I want to do. I want to make people feel even when they don't want to. I want them to be able to escape the world and smile.
   At least with this book. A love story can always make one smile. My next one on the other hand might get a lot darker...

Now that summer has come it's time for new beginnings. I'm soon done with the proof reading and with the book. Soon I will send it to the publishers and see what happens. And then I'm gonna start a new book. Plan a new story. See new characters grow old. It will be a journey, an experience.
   You have to get rid off all the stones before you find the gold, remember that.
   And motivation is the key! Inspiration is easy but getting really motivated is a challenge itself!

Let summer bring new beginnings with it!

-- Selma

I'm not dead!

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” 

― Albert Einstein

Well... It has been a small forever since the last time. Six months, apparently. And lately I have been thinking about this blog more and more. Did I want it to die? No, of course not. Was it the right thing to do? Maybe. Who knows? Not I.
   So, what have I been doing the last six months?
   I would like to say that I mostly have been writing. That would, however, be a lie. But, I did actually finally write the end of my book. So, I'm proofreading it while planning the next one and hoping for the best in the future. I've been competing in some contests -- writing of course. I've taken some photos, like come on. It has been 6 months, of course I used my camera!
   But the most important thing probably is that I've started to learn more things about myself. I've found goals I want to reach in my life. And not just something more on my bucket-list. Bigger things. About myself. Not my desires.
   I've realized that the right moment very rarely is the perfect moment, or the other way around.
   I've learned how important it is to smile, and how easy it actually is.
   I've gotten a clearer picture of the future I want more than ever. And, that, that truly is something. Exploring yourself is harder than exploring the world.
   And you're really lucky if you already know what you want and have a plan to deal with the problems! And... Don't count on it too much. You'll change. Your friends will change. Your view on the world will change. If you don't already have reached your goal, remember to focus! You have to be determined if you're going to reach it with one of the thousand of plans you're going to have!

I don't really have a lesson this time. It's more of a "You do you and I do me" post.

   You should always be your own number one on your priority list. You should always try to find things about yourself that you love. And you should never take less than you deserve! You're amazing just the way you are. No matter what the colour of your skin is. No matter whom you are attracted to, or not attracted to. No matter what you identify yourself as, or not identify as. None of these things actually matters as long as they are a part of you. A part of you that you can be proud of. You don't have to love every single part of yourself. But self-love is the best kind of love that you will ever find. It's the most empowering kind of love.
   I hope you'll have a magnificent life and that you love yourself! Be proud of the person you see in the mirror. And if you're not, maybe it's time to change it.

/With love
Selma

Between everything normal

Sometimes you just sit there, wondering about life and everything, trying to remember something that already is forgotten. A scent. A memory. How someone's arms were wrapped around your body. The heart warming feeling when someone is really nice to you. Or when you see other people smile, being happy.
   You just sit there and try to remember everything good about life, without even realizing it. You are trying to make yourself happy, usually. But, then, after a while you start to realize that you can't remember and everything just feels empty and weird. You just want to cry and sleep, but at the same time you want to scream.
   It's a weird feeling. But, I was thinking... don't we all feel that sometimes? But we can get better. And that's a little promise. You can remember the times before. All the times you were in this situation and still here you are again, alive, breathing and... alive. You are alive. That is something amazing. Something important. It can feel like you are suffocating, but you are alive! What an amazing thing to realize. Even though you would prefer to be dead you are still breathing and doing something. Life won't give up so fast. And, oh, bloody hell, that is wonderful!
   You are not alone. People always feel like this. It starts like a little sadness and then it takes over your mind and plays you tricks. But, trust me when I say that you are perfect. You are good enough. Good enough for anyone. You don't have to cry yourself to sleep because of anything. You are perfect, and we all feel like this once in a while. But, yes, do cry if it helps.
   I just want you you know that whatever happens you are not alone. You are good enough. Even if you have scars all over your body.
   Make your day a little bit better small things; listening to music you don't understand a word of, reading your favourite book, a cup of tea of coffee, reminding yourself that you are a genius! That you are unique. Remind yourself that whatever happens in your life you are, and will always be, the most important person in your whole life. Nobody's love is going to be as strong as the love for yourself. Go to a mirror and look into your own eyes. Think about something that makes you happy. Watch while your pupils get bigger. Then close your eyes. Smile. And then open them again. Then let the smile fade away. And then do whatever makes you happy. Play video games, call a friend, read a book, scroll through tumblr... contact me if you want to. Just do something that makes you happy!

Blessed be!

-- Selma.

The Miracle

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." 

         — Albert Einstein

During two days I have written more than 20 pages! It feels amazing to be back on track. I'm almost on the 200th page! I can't believe it. It feels amazing. I haven't actually told you about this book... I don't think so, at least. I started writing something about it, but then I sort of never ended the post.
   So, this book is something normal, sort of. A love story. The people is more... complex than any other characters I've ever written. Friends that die, people who commit suicide, people with some sort of problem (dyslexia and anxiety and other), and family. This is things I never usually write about. Especially the family part. Usually I almost always kill the parents because I never know what to do with them, but, in this story almost every parent is alive. It has been a fantastic journey to write this book. Get to know the characters and create places they go to. And animals! I actually have animals in this book that can't telepathically speak with their owner. I feel like this book is something special. But, of course that doesn't mean that I actually can get it published. I do hope so, at least.  It would be amazing and I feel so proud over this story even though people will describe it as unrealistic and question it. I just don't really care about that. It feels like an amazing love story between two persons. This is the best thing I've ever written, so, yes, I do believe in it. And, in an authors mind everything is possible. Some people will say love like this doesn't exist. All I have to say to them is that everything is possible. The only limit is your imagination. Like Albert Einstein said: "If I were wrong, then one would have been enough!" and there's clearly more than one person out there who questions love.

The Miracle is just something I call it. It's not its real name. But near enough. There's just one word missing. Anyway, the main character is called Anastasia (no, do not think about Anastasia from Fifty Shades of grey, I created this chracter before Bella was called Anastasia!) and her best friend died of cancer a while ago, so you can imagine her life pretty much sucks. Until she meets this boy. Yeah, sounds pretty much like a cliché, yeah? Well, it isn't. Not really. Yes, both of them have a terrible past, but that's not the reason why they start to like each other. The reason why they start to like each other is the fact that they both have a different view at the society. That's what Anastasia really likes with Vincent. He's different. Even though he can be the party boy she never would have liked. But, like a lot of people he doesn't really love the party time. It's just to fill the whole after his father's death. And, with a abusing stepfather at home he doens't really know what to do. Until he finally can go to a police he trusts. Then the life is getting better, he has find the love of his life and "saved" his mum from the abusing husband she never loved. Vincent now has a reason to go back to his "normal life" and the path he was walking before his whole life crashed.
   Anastasia was a happy person before her best friend's death. She was pretty much like a normal child, liked to go out with her friends and be happy. After her best friend's death however she didn't really see the point of going out and eat ice cream again. It's not like she actually lost everything with her best friend, she always liked being home and read, but when Katie still was alive she had a reason to go out. She hasn't one anymore. Yeah, until Vincent comes. (What a surprise, huh?) He drags her out of her shell and they fall in love, because what would a love story be without the love? He shows her that it indeed is possible to be happy again after you have lost somebody, he if anyone should know. And, yes, they heal each other and shows each other the happiness in life. But, who actually cares if that's a cliché? What would love be if you don't even help each other to heal from the past? What would love be if you aren't happy?

   (spoiler)And everything is well, until something terrible happens. Surprise! No, but, actually this book started like a project for me to try to do something real out of it and then kill on of the main characters. It was supposed to be a novella. It didn't really work out as I wanted it to do. From novella to a book. From a little project to the project of my life (right now). So the story has changed more than I expected it to do. And I haven't written the last page yet, so, maybe nothing terrible happens? Who knows? Maybe I just should let them have their happily ever after??(spoiler)
   Okay, so maybe it sounds like a cliché, but you just can't explain some books, you know? Like, Tfios, how do you explain a book where two kids have cancer and fall in love with each other without making it sound all too weird and boring? Some books can't be explained, and it sort of feels like this story is one of them. An authors biggest challenge here in life is to take something "classical" and make it to your own thing. And, I hope I did a good job. I should probably go back to the writing now so I see how it all ends.

-- Selma.

Going back to the path I started

So, I have been thinking. This blog is a hard work for me together with school, writing, and my nerdy life with anime, books and series. And, everytime I actually do blog about something it's never really what I wanted to do at the start of this blog. I started this blog to dedicate this to my writing. Kind of. I don't really know. I didn't want a blog about me, I wanted a blog about my writing. So, that's what I'm gonna do. Or else this blog is going to die. And I do not want that to happen.

   Don't misunderstand me now, there'll still be something about writing in general, how you make your story feel... alive, and things like that. I just don't want you do expect that sort of stuff everytime. This blog was going to be about my books, me and my thoughts. So, I'm going back to that. That's what I want to do, at least. I don't want to feel forced to write something that may or may not help someone. I just want this to be about my writing. Like every other author, I suppose.
So, yeah, I'm going back to the path I started. Mostly because I can. And because I don't like the feeling of being stressed when I'm doing something I was supposed to be enjoying.

(And maybe I will start posting my other pictures too... I like taking photos too! :) )

-- Selma.

Wrap everything together

"You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it."

-- Robin Williams

This post sort of reminds of the last one, how you end everything. But, in a different way. Last time I talked/wrote about how you end things with words, but one of my dearest friends kind of pointed out for me that I didn't speak about how you wrap the story together at the end. She asked for help, so I helped her, I hope and think I did at least.
   The ending is one of the most important points in the story. It's where you tie together all of the loose strands. This is where it gets hard. You must answer almost all of the questions that the readers might have. It's also where you maybe show the characters' evolution through the story. The character that maybe didn't have any friends at the beginning of the story now have at least one friend that s/he can trust.
   But, the meaning of wrapping everything together doesn't just aim the ending. It's the whole story you need to wrap together, fill the empty spots in the story between two scenarios. And scenarios can be a lot of different things, maybe a fight scene, or maybe just a sentence you wanted a character to say. 

These scenarios are important because it's a really good way to build a story. If you write up every scenario (name them to something short) on a post-it note you see everything you have to work with. Just look at the post-it notes after you have put them in the right order. Maybe you realize that you want to change the order. Either way you now have the main events in front of you. Now you just need to fill the white spots between all of these events.

   This is like planning the story, I know that, but it helps. If you see all the main events you want to have in the story it's easier to write, because you know where the story is going. And if you know where it's going it's easier to write everything you need to write and then wrap everything together at the end. It's like putting the corner pieces of a puzzle and then continue to build on the rest from there.

-- Selma.

The ending

"Wasting words are like wasting a meaningful life. It's like a sickness. You fill the words with lies and poison. At the end it just takes away all the meaningful words ."

I know that people often have problems with the ending and all I can say is that it is normal, and that I will tell about how I end my stories.
   A lot of authors actually start with the ending so they know what they are trying to reach. Other people start in the middle. There's no rule that tells you that you need to start from the beginning.
   Personally I actually start my stories at the beginning and continue them from there. Sometimes I write parts that I really want in the story that doesn't really fit right at the moment when I write it. It often ends up with me not using them, just because it doesn't fit in to the story anymore. For each chapter it changes, the story and the storyline. You should almost be worried if it doesn't. Or you have planned the whole book really well.
   When I was around 10/11 or something and started to write I didn't even have chapters. Because, I was so bad at ending them so they just sort of continued for a forever and it was just random stuff all the way. I... I just couldn't write back then. Then I realized that I needed chapters, and an ending to the stories. I couldn't continue on forever with just the most random stuff ever. I needed more structure.

If you are reading this, I'm sure that you have chapters. Or something that reminds you of chapters, at least.

   Anyway, as you know chapters are different in length, like books. Some are long and some are short. As I continued my own writing--journey I started to see a pattern. The best authors (not the best--selling ones now) didn't often write books on 1000 pages. They wrote books on 300-500 pages, give or take some hundred, and filled those pages with all the words we readers come to love. They chose their words thoughtfully. They didn't waste the words and didn't just try to fill the pages with unnecessary words, like beginners do. As I write this I feel like a hypocrite, believe me. Because I still waste the words sometimes. Everyone do once in a while, I would like to believe. Even the best authors we look up to and admire, and want to be exactly like them -- but not, you know? We all want to create something new and something that makes us as special as them. Wasting the words is one of the things all of us need to better, I think, and that's why all authors proofreads before they contact the publishers. We read our books again and again, often after putting them on ice for a while so you can look at it with "new eyes".

   The thing with ending something is that people usually don't like endings. People sometimes waste the words just because they don't want it do end. People don't do it on purpose, it just happens. Personally I really like the endings. It's really fun to end something and then start to read it again after a while and follow the character/s through their/s journey. And, it almost feels like seeing a baby grow. (Probably joking, I don't have children and have never seen a child grow up. I have no idea about how that feels.) The character always changes. They are a different person from who they were at the beginning. They always are. At least in the sort of books I read. I don't know how it works in thriller--books or detective--books, though...

Authors often like to end a chapter/book with a cliffhanger, and that's a really good way, because the reader continues reading the book.
 

   You usually ends the chapter or the book with something that round the whole thing off. If it is more than one book you could end it with a cliffhanger so the reader expects a lot for the next book, or you could end it with something that feels like an ending. With a kiss, smile, promise or something nice that gives the reader an... ending. 

   The last piece I wrote in the first book in the trilogy I have put on ice for now is;
   "I remember the dusk. The dusk I looked at when Victor first arrived. I had asked myself if it was the end, if I would ever get to meet Dominick again. If our little quartet would make it out of this, or if it really was the end for us. I realize now that it was only a beginning, not our end. Our ending is far from near." 
   I chose to end it like that. I have no idea if it was a good ending or not. It's like a little cliffhanger but still a cozy ending that probably could drive some readers crazy. I ended the second book with a cliffhanger, however.
   There's a lot of different sort of endings. Just cut it off where you like it, that's probably the best thing I can say. It's hard to describe an ending, and a lot of people just train and train on cut chapters and end books. After a while you just know where to end something. But, whatever you do: DO NOT END A BOOK TOO ABRUPT! (Cliffhangers are okay, but too abrupt cliffhangers aren't good at all.) Seriously, how fun it may be it's still pretty bad. The readers will probably get a little mad at you and the risk that you lose readers could be big. Not all people read and if you end a book too abrupt it could be a "disappointment".
   How you end a chapter isn't as important as how you end a book, but still important. Chapters are different in length, books too, remember that. Sometimes it's interesting to read a short chapter. And when you read a "short" book you may see that it was better than the one on 800 pages you loved.
   Trust your guts and end the chapter/the book where it feels right. It's often the best way, at least until you start proofreading and maybe come up with a better idea to end the book, which is just great.

Have a great day. I hope it works out well for you, whatever you do! :)

-- Selma