The Miracle

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." 

         — Albert Einstein

During two days I have written more than 20 pages! It feels amazing to be back on track. I'm almost on the 200th page! I can't believe it. It feels amazing. I haven't actually told you about this book... I don't think so, at least. I started writing something about it, but then I sort of never ended the post.
   So, this book is something normal, sort of. A love story. The people is more... complex than any other characters I've ever written. Friends that die, people who commit suicide, people with some sort of problem (dyslexia and anxiety and other), and family. This is things I never usually write about. Especially the family part. Usually I almost always kill the parents because I never know what to do with them, but, in this story almost every parent is alive. It has been a fantastic journey to write this book. Get to know the characters and create places they go to. And animals! I actually have animals in this book that can't telepathically speak with their owner. I feel like this book is something special. But, of course that doesn't mean that I actually can get it published. I do hope so, at least.  It would be amazing and I feel so proud over this story even though people will describe it as unrealistic and question it. I just don't really care about that. It feels like an amazing love story between two persons. This is the best thing I've ever written, so, yes, I do believe in it. And, in an authors mind everything is possible. Some people will say love like this doesn't exist. All I have to say to them is that everything is possible. The only limit is your imagination. Like Albert Einstein said: "If I were wrong, then one would have been enough!" and there's clearly more than one person out there who questions love.

The Miracle is just something I call it. It's not its real name. But near enough. There's just one word missing. Anyway, the main character is called Anastasia (no, do not think about Anastasia from Fifty Shades of grey, I created this chracter before Bella was called Anastasia!) and her best friend died of cancer a while ago, so you can imagine her life pretty much sucks. Until she meets this boy. Yeah, sounds pretty much like a cliché, yeah? Well, it isn't. Not really. Yes, both of them have a terrible past, but that's not the reason why they start to like each other. The reason why they start to like each other is the fact that they both have a different view at the society. That's what Anastasia really likes with Vincent. He's different. Even though he can be the party boy she never would have liked. But, like a lot of people he doesn't really love the party time. It's just to fill the whole after his father's death. And, with a abusing stepfather at home he doens't really know what to do. Until he finally can go to a police he trusts. Then the life is getting better, he has find the love of his life and "saved" his mum from the abusing husband she never loved. Vincent now has a reason to go back to his "normal life" and the path he was walking before his whole life crashed.
   Anastasia was a happy person before her best friend's death. She was pretty much like a normal child, liked to go out with her friends and be happy. After her best friend's death however she didn't really see the point of going out and eat ice cream again. It's not like she actually lost everything with her best friend, she always liked being home and read, but when Katie still was alive she had a reason to go out. She hasn't one anymore. Yeah, until Vincent comes. (What a surprise, huh?) He drags her out of her shell and they fall in love, because what would a love story be without the love? He shows her that it indeed is possible to be happy again after you have lost somebody, he if anyone should know. And, yes, they heal each other and shows each other the happiness in life. But, who actually cares if that's a cliché? What would love be if you don't even help each other to heal from the past? What would love be if you aren't happy?

   (spoiler)And everything is well, until something terrible happens. Surprise! No, but, actually this book started like a project for me to try to do something real out of it and then kill on of the main characters. It was supposed to be a novella. It didn't really work out as I wanted it to do. From novella to a book. From a little project to the project of my life (right now). So the story has changed more than I expected it to do. And I haven't written the last page yet, so, maybe nothing terrible happens? Who knows? Maybe I just should let them have their happily ever after??(spoiler)
   Okay, so maybe it sounds like a cliché, but you just can't explain some books, you know? Like, Tfios, how do you explain a book where two kids have cancer and fall in love with each other without making it sound all too weird and boring? Some books can't be explained, and it sort of feels like this story is one of them. An authors biggest challenge here in life is to take something "classical" and make it to your own thing. And, I hope I did a good job. I should probably go back to the writing now so I see how it all ends.

-- Selma.

Going back to the path I started

So, I have been thinking. This blog is a hard work for me together with school, writing, and my nerdy life with anime, books and series. And, everytime I actually do blog about something it's never really what I wanted to do at the start of this blog. I started this blog to dedicate this to my writing. Kind of. I don't really know. I didn't want a blog about me, I wanted a blog about my writing. So, that's what I'm gonna do. Or else this blog is going to die. And I do not want that to happen.

   Don't misunderstand me now, there'll still be something about writing in general, how you make your story feel... alive, and things like that. I just don't want you do expect that sort of stuff everytime. This blog was going to be about my books, me and my thoughts. So, I'm going back to that. That's what I want to do, at least. I don't want to feel forced to write something that may or may not help someone. I just want this to be about my writing. Like every other author, I suppose.
So, yeah, I'm going back to the path I started. Mostly because I can. And because I don't like the feeling of being stressed when I'm doing something I was supposed to be enjoying.

(And maybe I will start posting my other pictures too... I like taking photos too! :) )

-- Selma.

Wrap everything together

"You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it."

-- Robin Williams

This post sort of reminds of the last one, how you end everything. But, in a different way. Last time I talked/wrote about how you end things with words, but one of my dearest friends kind of pointed out for me that I didn't speak about how you wrap the story together at the end. She asked for help, so I helped her, I hope and think I did at least.
   The ending is one of the most important points in the story. It's where you tie together all of the loose strands. This is where it gets hard. You must answer almost all of the questions that the readers might have. It's also where you maybe show the characters' evolution through the story. The character that maybe didn't have any friends at the beginning of the story now have at least one friend that s/he can trust.
   But, the meaning of wrapping everything together doesn't just aim the ending. It's the whole story you need to wrap together, fill the empty spots in the story between two scenarios. And scenarios can be a lot of different things, maybe a fight scene, or maybe just a sentence you wanted a character to say. 

These scenarios are important because it's a really good way to build a story. If you write up every scenario (name them to something short) on a post-it note you see everything you have to work with. Just look at the post-it notes after you have put them in the right order. Maybe you realize that you want to change the order. Either way you now have the main events in front of you. Now you just need to fill the white spots between all of these events.

   This is like planning the story, I know that, but it helps. If you see all the main events you want to have in the story it's easier to write, because you know where the story is going. And if you know where it's going it's easier to write everything you need to write and then wrap everything together at the end. It's like putting the corner pieces of a puzzle and then continue to build on the rest from there.

-- Selma.

The ending

"Wasting words are like wasting a meaningful life. It's like a sickness. You fill the words with lies and poison. At the end it just takes away all the meaningful words ."

I know that people often have problems with the ending and all I can say is that it is normal, and that I will tell about how I end my stories.
   A lot of authors actually start with the ending so they know what they are trying to reach. Other people start in the middle. There's no rule that tells you that you need to start from the beginning.
   Personally I actually start my stories at the beginning and continue them from there. Sometimes I write parts that I really want in the story that doesn't really fit right at the moment when I write it. It often ends up with me not using them, just because it doesn't fit in to the story anymore. For each chapter it changes, the story and the storyline. You should almost be worried if it doesn't. Or you have planned the whole book really well.
   When I was around 10/11 or something and started to write I didn't even have chapters. Because, I was so bad at ending them so they just sort of continued for a forever and it was just random stuff all the way. I... I just couldn't write back then. Then I realized that I needed chapters, and an ending to the stories. I couldn't continue on forever with just the most random stuff ever. I needed more structure.

If you are reading this, I'm sure that you have chapters. Or something that reminds you of chapters, at least.

   Anyway, as you know chapters are different in length, like books. Some are long and some are short. As I continued my own writing--journey I started to see a pattern. The best authors (not the best--selling ones now) didn't often write books on 1000 pages. They wrote books on 300-500 pages, give or take some hundred, and filled those pages with all the words we readers come to love. They chose their words thoughtfully. They didn't waste the words and didn't just try to fill the pages with unnecessary words, like beginners do. As I write this I feel like a hypocrite, believe me. Because I still waste the words sometimes. Everyone do once in a while, I would like to believe. Even the best authors we look up to and admire, and want to be exactly like them -- but not, you know? We all want to create something new and something that makes us as special as them. Wasting the words is one of the things all of us need to better, I think, and that's why all authors proofreads before they contact the publishers. We read our books again and again, often after putting them on ice for a while so you can look at it with "new eyes".

   The thing with ending something is that people usually don't like endings. People sometimes waste the words just because they don't want it do end. People don't do it on purpose, it just happens. Personally I really like the endings. It's really fun to end something and then start to read it again after a while and follow the character/s through their/s journey. And, it almost feels like seeing a baby grow. (Probably joking, I don't have children and have never seen a child grow up. I have no idea about how that feels.) The character always changes. They are a different person from who they were at the beginning. They always are. At least in the sort of books I read. I don't know how it works in thriller--books or detective--books, though...

Authors often like to end a chapter/book with a cliffhanger, and that's a really good way, because the reader continues reading the book.
 

   You usually ends the chapter or the book with something that round the whole thing off. If it is more than one book you could end it with a cliffhanger so the reader expects a lot for the next book, or you could end it with something that feels like an ending. With a kiss, smile, promise or something nice that gives the reader an... ending. 

   The last piece I wrote in the first book in the trilogy I have put on ice for now is;
   "I remember the dusk. The dusk I looked at when Victor first arrived. I had asked myself if it was the end, if I would ever get to meet Dominick again. If our little quartet would make it out of this, or if it really was the end for us. I realize now that it was only a beginning, not our end. Our ending is far from near." 
   I chose to end it like that. I have no idea if it was a good ending or not. It's like a little cliffhanger but still a cozy ending that probably could drive some readers crazy. I ended the second book with a cliffhanger, however.
   There's a lot of different sort of endings. Just cut it off where you like it, that's probably the best thing I can say. It's hard to describe an ending, and a lot of people just train and train on cut chapters and end books. After a while you just know where to end something. But, whatever you do: DO NOT END A BOOK TOO ABRUPT! (Cliffhangers are okay, but too abrupt cliffhangers aren't good at all.) Seriously, how fun it may be it's still pretty bad. The readers will probably get a little mad at you and the risk that you lose readers could be big. Not all people read and if you end a book too abrupt it could be a "disappointment".
   How you end a chapter isn't as important as how you end a book, but still important. Chapters are different in length, books too, remember that. Sometimes it's interesting to read a short chapter. And when you read a "short" book you may see that it was better than the one on 800 pages you loved.
   Trust your guts and end the chapter/the book where it feels right. It's often the best way, at least until you start proofreading and maybe come up with a better idea to end the book, which is just great.

Have a great day. I hope it works out well for you, whatever you do! :)

-- Selma

Refuse or give in?

"A moment of silence and truth is more than we can ever get sometimes. Be happy over what you get, even the simplest things. Because, you have something someone else whats."

So, hello, people, I'm back! And this is for all of you who write and have gotten rejected more than once on the book you have been writing and want published.
   During my little vacation on almost-three-weeks I got an answer from the publishers I was waiting an answer from. They said "Thanks, but no, thanks", sort of. I started to get tired of all this rejections. I mean, they have kind of said that I am a good enough author, but that they don't think my book could be published with success -- for them, of course. It would be enough for me just if they published it. Anyway, they didn't want to publish my story this time either. At first I was really mad frustrated and didn't really talk to anyone and just wrote on my other stories because I didn't feel for writing the last book in my trilogy. Then I realized that the problem was that Sweden doesn't really like the new aspect of fantasy I can have in my stories, with my own creatures and beliefs etc. It kind of reminds me of J.K. Rowling when you think about.
   So, I decided to start a new book, an even more risky book, it turned out. I don't really know. I criticize a lot of stuff in society and a lot of people wouldn't be proud of me, the truth is a lot of people would hate me for this book. But, I really want to write this one if I can't publish the story I love. And, I mean, if I get published with this one it would be a lot d*mn easier to publish The Eternal Battle. That was one of the reasons I decided to give up instead of refuse and try again and again. I mean, I'm up in 6 rejections, and I know it isn't that much. But, at the same time, when I started my new book I realized I would be really proud if it got published, more proud than I could ever be with TEB.

What I want to say is that when you give in and let the publishers influence you it isn't always a bad thing. I mean, publishers here in Sweden answers with two sentences. A "thank you for letting us read your manuscript" and then a "But, unfortunately we have decided to thank no" and then they just sign the letter or mail with their name, and that's it. Okay? It isn't much. People can understand them, we can, but it doesn't really feel like anything when you have been writing for a really long while and your stomach almost have struck knots on itself when you send the book to the publishers. It's a really god da** hard work just to send it to them. Give your whole future in the hand of others'. 

   Are you working on something you really want to get published? A text you have been changing all the time just to make it as good as possible? And it still doesn't work? Don't be afraid of changing it. I know I can sound like a hypocrite, especially since i didn't want to change it for a really long while, I mean, I'm at the third book in the trilogy. I am as stubborn as a donkey, to be honest. But even I give in sometimes.

   Changes are good in life. When I started to write it was probably the best decision I have ever made together with signing up on tumblr. And, maybe a change in the story decision is all that's needed to get published? That's at least what I hope for... 

  And, believe me when I say that even if I get hate for the story I'm writing, I am not going to stop, so, if or when I start to write about it here I would recommend you to not give a sh** about what I want to do with my life, even if it is a "sin" or something like that. Because, something made out of pure love could never be a sin.
   So, dear reader, if it feels like something is stopping you, maybe it is you self. I hope I can look back at this and say that I was right, that the only thing that was stopping me from getting published was my own stubbornness.
   I wish you all luck in life!

-- Selma.

Inspiration, art and stories

"Dreams are the things that keep us fighting. Fighting for our goals and when we well do... We are fighting with passion and there's nothing more beautiful than a person with a passion so strong that it makes her or him glow."

It can be anything, in any forms -- inspiration. Or, it can at least come to you in any forms. Maybe an ice cream, a sunny/rainy day, a dream or your own thoughts just wandering off. It's hard to say exactly how motivation and inspiration comes to us but when they well do we recognize it like an old friend to us. Just looking out through the window right now fills my head with ideas to new stories, starts on a lot of fantastic things, a lot of fantastic stories -- then, if you like my writing or not is up to you, but I would at least like to think that I know what a good story is.
   But do you know which method works best for me? Surround myself with art in all forms. Books, pictures, plaques, music, just going out and really watch the world -- the nature, the buildings and the humans. Watch it all. How do people move? Do they use their bike, their car, motorcycle or something else? What is the diffrences between the elder and the younger people, except their age of course. And after seeing the diffrences between the people in different ages start to watch people who look like they are in the same age. (I tell you to watch the world, not to stalk people, to make it clear). Already knowing the differences and actually study them is a difference. You don't need to sit with a notebook in centrum if you don't like to, but it's a nice way to train your writing. If you study the world and see the differences who connect us to each other while you are writing it down there's a bigger chance you will remember it later when you start to write "on real" or maybe your "real" idea comes to you while you are looking into other humans' lives. And if you already are writing something don't be afraid over to start something new. If you want to continue the other work but still want to test your new idea don't just write the idea down somewhere. Give it a start, a prologee, a first chapter, give it a solid base, just so you can return to it another day and remember what you wanted, because you have a piece of what you wanted right ahead you. A little piece of something bigger.

By watching people and writing down the things you see and think are... remarkable is going to give your story details that makes your story remarkable. It's often the smallest details that makes a story complete and... perfect in some eyes.
   Anyway, now I came of the track... If you want inspiration just go outside and watch the clouds, the birds, the children if there's any and watch and think. Maybe you see an old tower or building, or just field, whatever it is you are seeing... have you ever wondered how it was before your family was there, before you were there? Let's say 200 years back in time, what was it like there you are living now? What I mean is that everything has a story, even the ground itself. Everything has a story -- it's just a question whether it's been discovered or not. And that's what artists do. They are trying to tell a story. That's what we do with our lives, even if you aren't an artist your whole life is your own story you probably one day will tell someone. Artists just choose to have more than one story to tell. Whether it's painting, writing, sculpting or something else you are giving it a story, a little life in it's own way, you are making something and fill it with emotions you may or may not remember one day when you look at it again. And that's what we, the artists, do. We create stuff and give it a story and sometimes a life.
   We give happiness, tears, anger, frustration, longing and a lot of other things. It's a gift to the world from the bottom of our hearts. We make you feel something and that's a bigger gift than some people can ever understand. And, at the same time we give a little bit of ourselves, to the art -- movies, books, paintings, clothes, themes to websites -- and to you. I think, I hope, that every artist thinks in this way so that I haven't written something and almost said that I'm "speaking for every artist" and then don't. I really don't want to offend anyone.
   Remember that even if you get paid for your sort of art it's still art. Even if you sell your paintings, if you sell your rights on your texts/books it's still art. Even if you are a designer your clothes are still art though someone paid you for doing them. It's still art whatever the situation is, for there's always a reason why we continue and at least the majority of artist probably continues because they love what they are doing.
   So, whatever your art is, just take a good look outside, on the world, go to places you haven't been and observe the things you maybe haven't really been observing before. The sky, the birds -- how do they move? How do they fly? How do they sing their songs? Maybe it isn't songs? Maybe the "songs" are screams? Maybe the birds are trying to take over the world? --, even things as simple as stones. Observe it closely because you never know what you can be missing if you don't give it a chance. So, give the world a chance. Go somewhere and observe things. And, as a payment you maybe will find more inspiration while you have given yourself another chance to train on what you love.
   And, if you don't like going outside for some reason that only you know about, remember that there's always the Internet. Pictures, songs, stories, art in all form are available on the Internet. (Tumblr is a fantastic place for art, Benjamin Von Wong is a really cool artist too who has his own YouTube channel where he talks about his work, I think, I haven't really been able to check our the videos, Anne Stokes too, then there's Wattpad, ao3, YouTube and other places on the Internet where you can see art and make it too.)

"And, the shining light of passion will light up other peoples' worlds and show them something far more interesting if they just look closely; we are all small gods of creation. And together we have built up a whole world. And, if that isn't art, tell me, what is?"

-- Selma.

Life -- until they find a better word for it

"Remember that you can not hold on to the past if you want to change the future."
   -- Elkastor, The Eternal Battle, chapter XVIII

Days like this I just want to write and write and write, and read more than I have time with. It's kind of sad how much our lives depend on how much time we have left -- 'till the day ends, to our lives end, to the world's end. Because, that's the truth, isn't? Everything has an end, even when we wish the time to stop, right in the moment so we can use the time as we wish. "Live in the moment", "Live your life", "Don't make your job to your life", "Use the time the way you will remember it, not the way you must"... There's a lot of things people tell us, the society tells us. But it's not easy to actually have the time you have -- that may or may not make any sense for you, but for other it maybe will. The thing I mean is that the whole day just passed by, and I almost did nothing. It's not something I regret, but as long as the wish for have done something more is there I don't really feel like I spend my time the way I could have done. I watched a lot of series today, and that's kind of what I did, and I still don't regret it. I also wrote a page or two on my book and I'm in the right direction now, so that's another thing I don't regret. The thing I probably regret is my way of spending way too much time on the internet -- especially on tumblr (once you have logged in, there's no way out, I'm not kidding, by the way). And, now, I'm spending more time on stuff I wasn't planned on doing. But I got this feeling that I should write something here, probably because I'm flying to another country soon (in ten days) and I won't be able to write something during that time, because of that I won't have any access to the Internet.

 
Anyway, back to the subject, if there's any, I mostly babble right now.
   It's okay to just doing nothing a whole day, whatever you count as "nothing". If this "nothing" makes you happy and feel comfortable with your life, your situation and just... comfortable, you maybe should consider to make it more often. Just spent the whole day in bed and slept? Sure, do it again a day that won't hurt anyone or you, like a Saturday -- if you don't work during Saturdays... You know what I mean, a day that fits your life. Do you want to have a cup of tea and read a really good book? Go for it, if you feel for it and it fits your life. Do whatever you like to, as long as it's legal I don't think someone can stop you.
    But, if you are like George R.R. Martin and like to kill your characters, that's another thing. Killing characters is fun sometimes -- not always, though.
   I know this was mostly babble and stuff but I hope some of you people who are on my blog right now will return! I makes me happy to see that people all over the world have found my blog, but I have absolutely no idea about who returns and who just sees this and roll with their eyes or something and never think about this place again... I would really like to know if someone actually likes this or not.

P.S. Next time I write something here I hopefully will write something about the writing. (Or anything else I maybe can write about? Do you wish for something special? You can find my e-mail under "About me", just send something, if you really want to, or comment ☺ ).

-- Selma.